I don’t know what to write. I should be editing for 1956B, but I don’t want to edit anything. I don’t want to do anything at all. There you have it. I’m reading Skip to Loafer. It’s great. It’s simply and cute and the story is just the right touch of slice of life. This keyboard isn’t my favorite for typing. It’s a gaming keyboard but I would rather use my other one. The smaller and shorter keys. I do like the more laptop keyboards.
I ordered another one. It hasn’t shipped yet.
What do I need to do for this day to not feel like a failure. I suppose that I should pray. That seems like a good way. I keep thinking of the Dr. K conversation where he mentioned that this person Flogged themselves into action. I definitely feel that. That is me. I need to pick up and do some drawing. Maybe I should start on that. Writing has been my main focus so doing anything other than writing feels wrong.
I hate being bad at things. But here I am. I had the thought and the idea that I should try and do my manga. I think it is a good time, as I need something regular that I can continually produce and the idea was that I could do it when I was listening to something else or something like that. More so what it means is that I need to devote some serious practice to drawing. I say serious, but so far, what I am thinking is 15 minutes or less a day. I think that will be enough to get me where I need to go . I have some stylistic shortcuts that I can try and use. I think they’ll work.
So here I am. So it goes.
I keep looking up depressing things. Charles Bukowski was beaten regularly as a child. I can’t imagine that. What a life. God, for some reason has filled this wonderful thing call life with enough misery, it’s a miracle, almost enough to prove his existence, that anyone can see past it. Here I am.
I want to try practicing writing at work. I have my tablet that I can try on. I should get to practicing. I need to get a better sense of what I’m trying to do. I doubt it’ll work very well, but again. One has inspired me to try and actually do it. His early drawings look terrible and somehow he kept going and got to the the point where it’s big enough to get a famous artist do draw it.
I have to keep on going. Neil Gaimen was a accused a few weeks back for rape. I suppose it’s better that I didn’t get too invested in his works. I should go back and try Discworld again. The humor and writing didn’t click with me when I last read it. It has been some time. I think maybe 10 years or so?
I hope someday I’ll get this out of me. There’s so many stories that I want to get on paper. The problem is that I haven’t even gotten the main stories I have inside out yet. I suppose I may have to stop after 20 years or so and start writing. Then again, I may as well wait for 25 and retire with full benefits.
I need to find out what it would take to make sure that the shed is fully comfortable to write in. I think that I need to do a better job… No I think that if I finish the fence. That will help out a lot. Even though this neighborhood is very safe. There’s not been any incident that worries me. Across the street their back window was broken, but the cops investigated and found out who it was and it was some dumb kid down the road. There wasn’t a big hubub about it. They found out who it was and it didn’t happen again.
I am working to get that done. Once completed I think that will make everything else easier. I should try and finish a few other stories. I have my Fire Emblem story that I need to iron out. I think that it will be pretty good once completed. I also have the final romance scenes in place, and I think those will be particularly good. I have GGK to thank for that.
His brilliance is in the situations. It’s always been hard to explain because you have to understand where this character came from, and this character, and what this person does, and so forth. It’s very good to watch. I think that I need to go back through a number of the scenes and makes sure I level them up. His characters have this way of always acting at an incredibly intelligent level and it makes the story and everything else serious.
I always read Isekai and other dumb manga stories with a certain understanding that they’ll play on cheap situations. A bully pushing an orphan down a flight of stairs who then touches the one person they shouldn’t and gets thrown into the dirt and forced to eat mud. There you have it. It’s great. We all love it. But it’s cheap. The situation isn’t something that can be explained easily. Like a deep inside joke. You have to be there.
I suppose that’s how it goes. There is always a small voice of despair when I read something amazing. I love it, but man is that mountain high.
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